False Comforts When Death Is Near

"I was violently seized with a disorder very rife here, and which carried off many, supposed to be an inflammation of the bowels. One Sabbath evening I felt such alarming symptoms that I did not expect to see Monday morning. In these circumstances I realized the feelings of a dying man. My mind had been so accustomed to reflect on virtue and moral goodness, that the first thing I attempted was a survey of my own conduct; my diligence and faithfulness in the ministry, my unspotted life, &c. &c. But, ah, vain props these for dying men to rest on! Such heart sins, such corruptions, and evil propensities, recurred to my ind, that if ever I knew the moment when I felt my own righteousness to be as loathsome and filthy rages, it was then. And where should I, where could I, where did I flee, but to Him whose glory and grace I had been of late degrading, at least in my thoughts? Yes, there I saw peace for guilty consciences was to be alone obtained through an almighty Savior. And oh, wonderful to tell, I again came to him; nor was I sent away without blessing. I found him full of all compassion, ready to receive the most ungrateful men."

From a portion of a letter written by Samuel Pearce. Taken from A Heart for Missions: Memoir of Samuel Pearce, 20-21.